I’m currently on about my 8th playthrough…
…of Kintsugi, the latest album by my inner teenage girl’s favorite band, Death Cab for Cutie. And, surprisingly, it’s been growing on me, but not for the reasons I imagined it would.
To be perfectly honest, I really wanted to hate this album. Their previous effort, 2011’s Codes and Keys, was definitely a step down from their older stuff. It felt hollow and unrelatable, as if even Ben Gibbard himself didn’t believe in the songs he was writing. I expected Kintsugi to be similar, another sign that the band peaked in 2005 and has since run out of things to say. Instead we got an album that feels not quite like a return to form, but a return to inspiration. It’s older and more mature, but it doesn’t suck. And I think at this point it’s safe to say that in a weird, grown-up way, I kind of like it.
Aqueduct had a song in the mid-2000s called “Growing Up With GNR” that touches on themes of getting older, feeling out of place, and connecting certain songs or bands to moments or phases in your life. I can sympathize with Aqueduct’s David Terry, but in this case Death Cab is my GNR and Ben Gibbard is my Axl Rose. Death Cab soundtracked my adolescence. Plans was my gateway to indie rock in 8th grade. They were my first concert without my parents. I drove to the record store to buy Narrow Stairs on its release day. I’ve played The Photo Album on the piano, start to finish, and I’ve cried on couches to “Tiny Vessels” after a breakup. A friend and I journeyed to Victoria last summer for their final show with Chris Walla. There is no band in the world that means as much to me, personally and culturally, as Death Cab for Cutie.
The first couple times I listened to Kintsugi, it didn’t feel right. But over time I realized that the problem wasn’t them, it was me. Death Cab have grown a lot over the years, but my ideal of them hasn’t. I wanted them to forever remain the same band I fell in love with in 8th grade.
Don’t get me wrong - I don’t like this album as much as some of their others, but it’s still a solid effort. I think the guitar work is some of their best to date, and at times the songwriting feels as sharp as it ever did. But Death Cab has most certainly grown up, and I’m finally learning to grow up with them.